Electric Avenue

‘She’s electric, she’s in a family full of eccentrics, she done things I never expected and I need more time.’ Okay so this probably isn’t how Bamber Gascoigne described his love of electric cars to Richmond’s Council Leader Serge Lourie, but the famous Oasis track has a surprising resonance.

I mean seriously, have you seen a G-Whiz? It looks like something Uncle George might use on the golf course after a glass of Tio Pepe. Eccentric doesn’t come even close to describing the thing. It’s almost like a strange sort of fetish. Then there’s THE Toyota Prius, which seems to be permanently parked outside of Waitrose in Richmond’s town centre. I’ve looked elsewhere around the Borough, but I don’t seem to be able to find any others. It’s not surprising really. It looks like something David Bowie might have driven in The Man Who Fell To Earth.

So whilst Uncle George and David Bowie may revel in new age electric travel, the rest of us wait in vane for an electric car that looks normal, elegant, cool, sporty, anything other than Noel Gallagher’s family of eccentrics.

Of course there’s always public transport and cycling. Last night I decided to mix these on a trip to the Spaniards Inn, but like drinks, transport routes are dangerous to mix. Firstly I took my bike on the Silverlink, which makes a stroll through the Bronx look like a walk in the park. Then when trying to get off at Hampstead Heath Station I practically decapitated an innocent bystander because the train was so overcrowded.

Ten minutes later I received a call from my friend in the pub asking where I was. Halfway up the f***ing hill,’ was my frustrated response as a greying pensioner in a Porsche veered round me at about 60mph. What kind of a prat needs a Posche to race a pushbike? In Hampstead it seems a popular sport. Oh well, at least I wasn’t overtaken by Bambi in a G-Whiz, I don’t think I could have faced the shame.